Trail mix

Nothing compelling to write about today, so instead it will be a pot pourri, nay a TRAIL MIX of quick points:

• I had a couple interviews this week for two very good programs. Two more to follow in the next two weeks. I always find it interesting the extremely friendly yet underlying tense atmosphere behind interviews especially when it is happening en masse. It's also intriguing how one portrays and sees oneself because it is a time where you're putting yourself on display, like a product to be purchased. 
• I think these interviews were actually the first time I've faced the 'panel' format versus the in vogue 'MMI' more commonly seen for medical school and residency interviews. The most striking difference is it is essentially over before you know it. There's no rest time to regroup. You gotta lay it out all on the line all at once. 
• I really like that music can be (in fact it should be) a shared experience. Some of my most favourite and unique artists, were from friends' recommendations. Basia Bulat is an example, from my friend Courtney who randomly went to her concert, and I've posted one of her songs below. 
• I wrote 'can be a shared experience' above because it's not always shared. It can often be a rather unilateral dictation of what people should or should not like especially in the blogosphere, or what's good and what isn't. I've always maintained that songs I post here are "favourites" (i.e. subjective taste), and not something that can be objectively seen as "best". 
• Speaking of favourites, Arcade Fire is out with their newest album Reflektor. I've listened to it a few times and the album as a whole isn't quite pulling me in. It's growing on me a little but, only a few isolated songs stand out to me. I posted my favourite one below. 
• Another pet peeve about the blogosphere climate is only a handful give credit where it's due or cite the site (lol) when they post something "new". Comes with the pretentiousness I guess. 
• I miss gourde season. 

Arcade Fire - We Exist

Sometimes life's OK, some med news, big music days

Typically I feel kind of blue when I come out of a long stretch of inactivity or inconsistency with blog posts, like I'm not imaginative, creative or committed enough to keep up with posts. After all, it's designed to be an outlet to share my thoughts, ideas and/or things I'm enjoying.

I think this is one of those times, however, when I'm not as regretful. As Modest Mouse says, "sometimes life's OK". It's been a busy past couple months with longer hours at work, applying for future endeavours, committees or commitments around work like journal club or meetings, and trying to stay active. Unfortunately, blogging isn't the only thing that takes a step back. I haven't had a long chat with my family for a couple weeks although I've shot a few emails and texts a couple times a week.

Of course, since it's been almost two months(!!) since I've posted, there's a lot to share!

First off, a rare comment about a medical matter. Over the last couple months, word has gotten out about a new decision rule to be used in emergency departments developed here in Ottawa: the Ottawa SAH (subarachnoid hemorrhage) rule. Some of the same people brought us the well-known Ottawa ankle rules, Ottawa knee rules, and CATCH pediatric CT rules, Canadian CT head rules, and Canadian C-spine rules. Some people like long walks on beaches, but these guys prefer to make RULES. Who can blame them? They make clinical decision-making for some difficult scenarios a lot more streamlined and methodical.

The unique side of things from my side is that this is the first time that I've been close to the action, so to speak. It's making some waves in local press, but it's also intriguing to see one of these rules come hot out of the oven with its results, and immediate response, critique and feedback in essentially real-time in the medical community. It is impressive that it offers 100% sensitivity, but what's even more interesting is how they're able to achieve that goal, as detailed in this blog post. You can find a more critical discussion here. It will be interesting how this unfolds in the next few months.



On to music...
The number of quality releases in 2013 continues. As previously discussed, I was a huge fan of Entertainment! and Random Access Memories which were my big two for a huge chunk of the first half of the year. In the tier below, I also listened heavily to new albums by Tegan & Sara, the National, Savages, How to Destroy Angels and Bonobo, and more.

This fall there has been another massive wave of solid albums. As solid as two-week old bread. Wait, that's not a good analogy. What's a good solid? Like a never-ending popsicle on a hot summer day.
I've been trying to simultaneously balance...

• Haim, Days Are Gone (I was waiting for it for months and gosh it did not disappoint)
• London Grammar, If You Wait
• Lorde, Pure Heroine
• Disclosure, Settle

Not to mention the much-anticipated Arcade Fire LP Reflektor coming out at the end of the month!

Lastly, in tribute of the end of the best ever shows on television, and from another great 2013 album...

Saturday-at-noon music: 11 months into residency / Parov Stelar

Hello from medicine call. Good morning! Good afternoon! Got the Friday/Sunday shifts this weekend. I tried starting this entry on call during some down time but the medicine gods got mad at me for slacking off so it ended up being a pretty busy night.

In just over an hour it will hit It is June 1st, the day before my mom's birthday. This time last year she and I had just gotten back to Edmonton after deciding on a place for me here. As much as that seems like it was so long ago it's hard to believe that it has already been 11 months.

What have I learned so far?
- As much as we made fun of the FIFE pneumonic in medical school, I find its framework has been vital for good patient care, rapport and satisfaction. Even from a medical side there have been countless times where an important piece of information was gleaned exploring this side. Go figure.
- Family medicine rulez. The people in my program are happy with their future in their profession, the flexibility and what limitless directions it can take. The job opportunities are endless, we are fostered in a positive environment and I've found it satisfying. Huzzah!
- Despite my previous point, medicine can consume you. Be careful. It will be all you think about at work, it is most of what you and your co-resident friends will discuss and it will seep deeper into your consciousness even more than in medical school. The hours are longer, the pressure is stronger.
- I started re-watching Scrubs (again). I have heard that out of all the medical shows out there it is the most accurate in its atmosphere, the conflicts and the stories. I couldn't agree more.
- In Atul Gawande's book, Better, he emphasizes the importance of asking every patient one question completely unrelated to why they are in hospital or about themselves. I saw the value in it but I am blown away by how much it improves my rapport with patients and in turn my enthusiasm to genuinely want to help them. You can see their faces light up when they see that you're not just running through the motions and show an interest in who they are. It can be anywhere from a simple "what do you do for work/fun/school?" or a follow-up question regarding a random tidbit they mention about themselves. I now actively try to do it at least once a day.

As much as I find it interesting looking back, the future is just as intriguing. I could be finished in just over a year, or more hopefully on to further training in something that will further diversify my future practice. Either way,

Whoa, this got too long! Anyways, here's my tune for the week. I stumbled upon Parov Stelar recently via Spotify (best music streaming service ever) and am really digging his jazzy-loungey-chill songs. Excuse my incoherence and lack of proper vocabulary, I'm a bit low on sleep. Just listen.

The Market is back

Staycation + Ísjaki

When I started residency, I swore I'd make the most of my time off since we only get four weeks off each calendar year. I have written off staycations as silly, lazy and unambitious... yet, here I am on day one of it. A number of reasons have led to it today -- trying to save money, lack of coordination, and nothing really jumping out at me right now to justify a one week blitz somewhere. On top of that, the early summer-like weather Ottawa is getting right now kind of helps.

So here I am, anxiously trying to find ways to make the most of staying in town, and minimize playing Bejewelled before embarking on CTU this next block. Heh, kind of funny to be stressing about vacation.

Today's agenda: buying a portable charcoal BBQ, getting some CDs and PATIO

And now, to end the entry with a single from Sigur Ros's upcoming album. As much as I love that band, I don't think I've ever been this addicted to a single one of their songs. Best enjoyed with headphones or an excellent loud speaker :)

Blue skies // She & Him Volume 3 stream

It's 10:00 AM, and I've already had my breakfast. I'd say that's fairly productive for a Saturday morning with no obligations. Look out the window and there's plenty of this going around:

Figure 1. Please excuse my dirty windows.

Heading to Gatineau Park with a couple pals soon so the pretest probability of this day being a very good one is already pretty high. THEN I find out that NPR is streaming She & Him's Volume 3 right now! Whether or not you have heard Zoe and M. Ward's music before, I recommend it, unless you are morally opposed to feel-good oldie-sounding music. Their sound hasn't changed that much over their three albums but so far it this one seems even more dedicated to that 1950s sound.

Truly fitting for a sunny Saturday morning.

Enjoy the day wherever you are, folks.

Hurry up, spring + new Bonobo

It's that funny time of year, well maybe especially this year. Mother nature teases us with the March equinox and the longer days, the sun beaming through the windows, but she's still keeping it nippy in these parts. Normally in Ottawa (apparently), the green is all around, but this year there's no denying that she's letting Old Man Winter linger a little longer.

Oh well, that's fine with me. I'm just happier with the extended daylight hours, and that I can ride my bike through the Market. Respirology is almost done, and I'd say it was probably the toughest rotation I was on so far in residency. Mental fatigue not so much due to long hours, which I can handle, but moreso from seeing tons of cases with dismal outlooks (idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis, end-stage COPD, lung cancers galore) and scratching tooth and nail to try to get some improvement or at least good follow-up for these people. It's also strange seeing Emergency from this side... I understand the political divide in the hospital a bit better now which I'd rather not delve into right now, but at the same time I really don't see much of a solution. Not many solutions + not many solutions for the politics = many frustrations.

With that, I'll try to focus on it being close to spring. Running my first race of the year tomorrow, just a 5 km to get things going. Aiming for a sub 5 min/km time.

Of course, I'll leave you with a tune today. Bonobo is out with a new album, The North Borders. He has an interesting interview up on NPR where he discusses sampling actual sounds you hear out in real life... trains, water, etc. His previous album didn't actually stick with me very much, but I like this one. It's excellent for almost any setting... chilling, reading, hosting -- a good sign it's gonna rack up some play counts with me :)

Below is "Jets", one of my favourite songs from the album.

Last night

Resent.

It was not the busiest call shifts I've had, although I was running around for most of the day, well into the evening. I also got a "decent" 4 hours of sleep which isn't bad by call standards.

For some reason though, it was probably the most miserable I've been on call. It was the first time I despised my pager and wanted to hurl against a cement wall... but also had moments of brief panic if I thought I misplaced it because I couldn't afford to miss a page. I resented each page. I resented the ward calls from the nurses even though they just wanted to improve patient care. I resented each page from other hospital services. Some were appropriate, some were not -- but they were all because they wanted our help. I resented each consult from Emergency, cursing them for being soft consults even though I admitted most of them. I resented myself for forgetting a couple tasks along the way.

It was an unhealthy and unhappy 24 hours. On the bright side, it was only 24 hours and could have been longer on other services, and I don't feel this much like a storm cloud very often.

It's something for me to monitor.

Blink, and it's off to the center of Canada's universe

It's funny looking back to six months ago how terrified I was at the prospect of this rotation. I don't know what it is or was that caused obstetrics to give me so much anxiety. Now I face obstetrics call as almost like any other day, but with it just being a tad longer. As I increase the number of deliveries, perineal repairs and "exams" under my belt, the more it becomes something I look forward to doing. Muscle memory. Myelination. But you'll never corner me to say this type of work will be a focus of mine in the future!

The other day I delivered my first baby "independently". I use that word loosely because there is always a ton of nurses around, and an obstetrician peeked in to make sure everything was going ok, but it was the first time I didn't have the most responsible physician right over my shoulder until the placenta was on its way out and the hard part was over. She was in her third pregnancy, and this baby came out fast. I think there were... two pushes. Probably could have sneezed him out if she wanted. Anyways, it was a scary rush, like being let go on that two wheeled bike for the first time, and I felt great about it afterwards. The safety net was there of course, but it sure felt a lot farther away.

In a few days I'm off to Toronto for a month-long ICU elective. I've always had a great time in that city, but we'll see how it goes working there for a month. I'm staying with two good friends where I will be resuming my role as "Dupri", or Ted to Lily and Marshall, or the Phoebe/Joey to everybody else. It's an odd but familiar and comfortable role :-)

Don't know what to expect! Onward, ho!

If a tree falls...

Time for some free-writing...

Post-call day (day off after a 24-hour or overnight shift)! I'm sitting at home after a workout and my limbs feel similar to jelly, satisfied after a relatively healthy lunch. It's 15:48, what to do? I've already caught up on Walking Dead (can't wait for the mid-season finale), drinking some fresh ground and brewed coffee. For some reason, Kid Cudi is hitting the spot at this moment. I couldn't really tell you why. If James were here, he'd insist I play "Make Her Say"... he's obsessed with that song.

I'm not really sure who reads this on a sporadic, semi-regular or a creepily regularly basis but I sometimes wonder. Obviously this is a post rich in deadwood, but lacking in conciseness. Are people frustrated reading this? Can this considered a frustrating post if nobody reads it?

Let's go with some rapid-fire thoughts:
- There is a cupcake beside me but I think I'll enjoy it after I take a shower.
- I am sad my other friends who have blogs have not kept up... it makes Google Reader a lot more boring.
- I would be willing to bet money the NHL season is lost. Not many of you would take me up on that bet because it is looking more obvious. I have been thinking this for the past month... so maybe if I said this earlier there would be a much more lively discussion. Anyways, the NHL and the players are making their bed.
- I think I steeped this second cup of coffee for too long. Whoops.
- Yesterday when I was on call for family med/obstetrics I heard about a terrible case about a newborn who is braindead. I wish I could write more about it. Sometimes medicine is brutal.
- The song I want any of you who are still reading to hear is "Ride" by Lana del Rey. She has gone through some rough patches as her fame increases (SNL, some nasty rumours) but you can't deny this is an awesome track. I feel that she maybe sings a bit too low for her range in some parts, but man she has a haunting voice.

unveiling coming soon...

La pièce da resistance has finally arrived! My table is here and assembled. But more about that when I do my massive post about my place. For now, a sneak peek as I break it in.

Apartment sneak peek

It's crazy to think I moved in over three weeks ago and I'm still not fully settled in my apartment. With that said, it's in its final stages before I'll call it 'complete'. Let's divide it into phases, shall we?


Phase 1: Moving in the basics - couch, bed, toilet paper. You know, things that you would expect to have in a barebones place and not feel like you were squatting in a spare lot.
Phase 2: Making things more liveable. Desk, coffee table, all kitchen items, dining set.
Phase 3: Nesting. Adding a personal touch through art, the way things are arranged. Feng shui and all that jazz.
Phase 4: Nothing left.

I'd say I'm sort in a grey zone between phase 2 and 3. I've got some decor going, but am still waiting for my dining table to come in. I'd also like to put up some more framed items and add more storage space to make things more organized. Phase 4 will be complete once I decide to get a TV for the fall sports season.

Much to the chagrin of my family and friends, I'm omitting the majority of photos for now because I want to capture the transition into the place all at once in a series of photos. I will concede a couple for now.


Above is looking into my kitchen.



Here is what may seem like an unremarkable photo of a kitchen sink. What is not shown was some ugly plastic paneling that used to be behind the faucet and above the wood that served no purpose other than to hurt your eyes. I took it down, repainted the area, and put up a metallic bar that can serve a number of functions like hanging some tablecloths and a dishrack, and just plain looking fancy.

That's all for now! Check out the albums I have on repeat to the right! I'll update that area periodically

Lots of new

My old "apartment building-mate" inspired me to dust this thing off and get things going semi-regularly again. You could say he's the psyllium to my blogging constipation.

Who knows what I'll churn out? Music will be discussed of course, maybe some interior design jazz since I'm becoming more domesticated, and speaking of domestication what could scream that more than my new friends I've adopted? There's four of them and until I think of more creative names, "chocolate mint plant", "peppermint plant", "oregano plant" and "rosemary plant" would like to say hello.

The apartment is still a work-in-progress but it'll be interesting to see what the 'end' product will look like.

Orientation tomorrow!

I'll leave my loyal crowd (ha!) a fun jam so your foot can tap with purpose. You may love to hate or hate to love Carly Rae, but you can't deny that ROSTAM did a pretty clever job with this mash-up of "Call me Maybe" and "Walking on Broken Glass".