eight minutes to live

Greetings from Toronto.

Just watched Source Code this evening. I must say the trailer made it look just plain awful, and Mr Gyllenhaal's recent run of unfortunate films didn't help either. I really don't want him to be the next Nicolas Cage.

Fortunately, I was pleasantly surprised. Any movie that gets me really thinking after all is said and done usually does well in my books. If you've seen the movie, it begs the question...

What if you knew you were going to die... tomorrow? or in the next few hours? minutes?

Can't say I've been in that position of imminent and unavoidable demise, but I don't imagine it's pleasant. I would guess that you don't immediately think: "Well, I've done a lot of good things in my life, and I'm happy with that." The most striking and immediate thought (I would think) would be "What unfinished business do I have?"

That phrase could be interpreted in a whole smattering of ways - for wanting to right some wrongs, get some closure on some lingering issues, making up for something you'd feel guilty about, and/or just putting fear aside and having the courage to do something you think is right.

Interestingly, one of the physicians I've worked with has said in his experience with family members of a palliative patient, it is usually the most estranged one that fights the hardest to ask for all measures to keep them alive. This could be a product of guilt over the years, or a combination of things I may have mentioned above. I'm not sure. Again, I don't know the feeling.

This movie got me thinking - not in the sadist or suicidal(!) way - if I woke up to the news tomorrow that an asteroid was coming straight to Earth and would annihilate us all in a matter of hours, would I feel like I had unfinished business? (besides the fact I would be dying, of course)

Are there people I need to talk to? Are there bygones I need to make into bygones? Have there been things I've been avoiding? Have I been an asshole to someone recently?

Really, these are all rhetorical questions... but this one isn't: why should it be the prospect of imminent doom or demise that would force us to have the courage or integrity to do these things? Or to really appreciate life for what it really is? Short.

And we'll never know how short.

Bon Iver - Holocene

Love 'Holocene' and the entire album. Dare I say I love this video more than the song itself?

BON IVER "Holocene" from nabil elderkin on Vimeo.

Slow clap for Nabil Elderkin on this one.

Flight Facilities

Quick post. A bit belated, but these guys are a must-listen. Only two songs out right now, but both top-notch. It's that kind of music you listen to late at night, sipping your favourite drink, with your head back and just nodding along. Just right.

"Crave You" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0bS-YnLf4s

"Foreign Language" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJ5YaApfSdQ

So. Good.

Belated: New pack leader and living out of a suitcase

#1. Family Medicine

Now the outright leader of the pack, and by quite a large margin. This transition happened over the span of the last couple months as I got exposed to these specialties and realized how much I would not be ok with (a) losing knowledge, and likely interest, in many aspects of medicine, and (b) to essentially devote my life to one particular section of a specialty. Even seeing the R3s/R4s in things like Internal Medicine and Orthopaedic Surgery already forget some basic principles that I think make you a good doctor is not something I want to end up being (of course, they are incredibly smart in what they do).

Secondly, the flexibility of Family Medicine is unparalleled. I will in all likelihood chase extra training in Emergency Medicine to work at the very least part-time for a while. And maybe hospitalist and sports medicine training are down the line too. Just the fact that all these options are possibilities that I could chase whenever I'd like makes me excited. Funny enough, the actual concept of basic Family practice is not something I'm excited about, but I do enjoy talking to people, being involved in their lives and am an advocate on more than just prescriptions and routine advice. I think it' something I could be good at.

I wouldn't even know what to rank second at this point. Maybe Internal Medicine if I really enjoy it in Toronto. Funny enough, I'd probably shoot myself if I matched to the FRCPC Emergency specialty so I might not even rank that. My main question at this point is how I'm going to rank - primarily by location or by specialty? Given recent events, location is now more important to me than before, but we'll see what happens in the next few months.

 

Nomad life

See my map HERE

Sydney and Cape Breton have been great to me. It really has felt more like a vacation than another elective. It's astounding how some parts of the island look like they came straight out of those postcards or ads for the Maritimes, and then you realize you're standing there. Those giant rocks. Those waves that crash against the shore. I've wanted to step out on those rocks and have the waves just crash on the same rock I sit on, but it's probably not the safest idea in the world. The smell has really gotten to me though. Now, I'm normally a guy with a pretty awful sense of smell but every time I step outside and I can smell the salty ocean air, it's just something else.

Crab has been the best thing I've eaten here, probably because it's in season. The lobster was unfortunately a bit disappointing but it was still tasty.

I'll leave you with some photos. Halifax is next, and then my southern US trip with some of the guys.

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