27 August 2012
unveiling coming soon...
La pièce da resistance has finally arrived! My table is here and assembled. But more about that when I do my massive post about my place. For now, a sneak peek as I break it in.
23 August 2012
Lance Armstrong stops fighting: is it really a concession?
Breaking just this evening, Lance Armstrong, undoubtedly the most famous athlete in cycling history and a major icon in fundraising cancer research, has decided to end his fight against charges made by the United States Anti-Doping Agency.
Stories found at The New York Times, but a more thorough one for now (suprisingly) at ESPN.
What does this mean exactly? Well now, the USADA can pursue charging Armstrong for doping and are looking to strip him of his seven Tour de France titles and ban him for life from cycling. I'm not exactly sure how this procedure works given that the International Cycling Union is the governing body, but I'll leave that to the lawyers to explain.
More damaging however, is that the USADA can proceed now without opposition, and publicly without Armstrong denying the claims many people can assume that it is an admission of guilt. Of course, Armstrong vehemently denies this notion.
So which is it? A judge had previously questioned the USADA's motivations in pursuing Armstrong after his retirement, while the USADA counters that they have evidence he has been doping for over a decade and has former teammates willing to testify. Armstrong has never failed a drug test, but in this day and age that can't be taken at face value either.
Unless all the facts come out, we'll never know for sure. Regardless, the damage has been done. The legacy Armstrong prided himself on is forever tarnished, at the very least, with an asterisk. Countless people looked to him as a role model, including patients with cancer and their families. He won't be seen the same way again.
But is it really an admission of guilt? It is very reasonable to suggest that after years and years of being hounded and pursued by the USADA, this accusation has worn him to his core. I bet, regardless of his guilt, it was truly exhausting. Perhaps he is simply throwing his arms up in despair, conceding this defeat in the name of temporary peace.
Or perhaps it's a re-evaluation of his priorities. Maybe all that matters to him is that he truly knows he won those races fairly, and that his family knows he won the races fairly. Maybe that's enough for him. Maybe he's decided it's not worth the headache, and he knows that although he will lose many fans, many more will still rally around him for what he has done for cancer research so far. This wouldn't be the first time that what was someone's livelihood no longer matters; it was a first life. He could be ready to turn the page and throw that old book away, where he wants to refocus on his endeavours and philanthropy.
Or maybe he's guilty. We'll likely never know.
Stories found at The New York Times, but a more thorough one for now (suprisingly) at ESPN.
What does this mean exactly? Well now, the USADA can pursue charging Armstrong for doping and are looking to strip him of his seven Tour de France titles and ban him for life from cycling. I'm not exactly sure how this procedure works given that the International Cycling Union is the governing body, but I'll leave that to the lawyers to explain.
More damaging however, is that the USADA can proceed now without opposition, and publicly without Armstrong denying the claims many people can assume that it is an admission of guilt. Of course, Armstrong vehemently denies this notion.
So which is it? A judge had previously questioned the USADA's motivations in pursuing Armstrong after his retirement, while the USADA counters that they have evidence he has been doping for over a decade and has former teammates willing to testify. Armstrong has never failed a drug test, but in this day and age that can't be taken at face value either.
Unless all the facts come out, we'll never know for sure. Regardless, the damage has been done. The legacy Armstrong prided himself on is forever tarnished, at the very least, with an asterisk. Countless people looked to him as a role model, including patients with cancer and their families. He won't be seen the same way again.
But is it really an admission of guilt? It is very reasonable to suggest that after years and years of being hounded and pursued by the USADA, this accusation has worn him to his core. I bet, regardless of his guilt, it was truly exhausting. Perhaps he is simply throwing his arms up in despair, conceding this defeat in the name of temporary peace.
Or perhaps it's a re-evaluation of his priorities. Maybe all that matters to him is that he truly knows he won those races fairly, and that his family knows he won the races fairly. Maybe that's enough for him. Maybe he's decided it's not worth the headache, and he knows that although he will lose many fans, many more will still rally around him for what he has done for cancer research so far. This wouldn't be the first time that what was someone's livelihood no longer matters; it was a first life. He could be ready to turn the page and throw that old book away, where he wants to refocus on his endeavours and philanthropy.
Or maybe he's guilty. We'll likely never know.
16 August 2012
Something that makes you stop in your tracks
I felt compelled to write this down while the feeling is still fresh and my thoughts sincere and in the moment.
Today I got news that someone close to me has a young relative with Type IIIB lung cancer. She's a non-smoker, a loving wife and mother of two small children. In short, the prognosis is poor and % survival rate after 5 years of the diagnosis is in the single digits. It's a terrible diagnosis for anyone, let alone someone in that situation.
I don't want to make this story seem like it's about me, because of course it's not; I only want to write how this tragic scenario this family is going through is making me feel. It's a strange zone in which I feel I'm residing. It's two degrees of separation, but barely so - enough that I'm feeling much more sombre and pensive than if it was something I had read or heard about, or seen at work. There's a face to the name, and faces to her family.
As a result, two big thought processes come to mind:
1. Priorities - there are long laundry lists of priorities we compile in our lifetime as we get older, more ingrained in the workforce, have access to more money and more material spoils. It's easy, nay, extremely difficult, nay, impossible to not get caught up with at least some of these aspects occasionally when it's around us all the time. We can lose track of the true value of life, and the fragility of it... and that at any moment, a more defined time limit can be added on to it, or it can be simply taken away all in an instant. When these sobering moments happen, it's incredibly interesting how some priorities drop off and seem distant, while others come rising to the surface, sometimes in a profound or violent manner.
Of course it's impossible to stay in this type of mindset forever. It's exhausting, time-consuming and frankly, depressing. Thinking about life and death all the time would make it difficult to be optimistic to any degree. It's important to keep as a perspective though... like that photo that catches your eye every now and then, and reminds you it's there. It's something that can catch you when you're getting a bit off-track; whether it's going on autopilot for days to weeks, or re-appreciating the things and people you love.
2. Medicine - it's sort of related to thought #1, but it's specific to the reminder of the privilege and the magnitude of the "job". In the grind of residency, the hours, the struggle to keep up with reading and knowledge, and climbing that ladder, the grand scope of what medicine can meet to patients and families can get lost. It makes me feel guilty when thoughts go through my head of wondering how much longer I'll be staying at work in a day, thinking of cutting corners, or when I get annoyed by a patient. No matter what position we eventually attain, our role in patient's lives is a privilege... and it should be treated that way as much as we can.
I think I'm losing steam here, so I'll end the post with things song - "The Wilhelm Scream" by James Blake. It's dark and brooding, but still great to hear. The way he sings "falling..." could be interpreted in a number of ways, but in the process of doing so he sings about how we question what we feel, what we love, and what we dream. Fewer things in life call us to question these emotions than news like this.
James Blake - The Wilhelm Scream
Today I got news that someone close to me has a young relative with Type IIIB lung cancer. She's a non-smoker, a loving wife and mother of two small children. In short, the prognosis is poor and % survival rate after 5 years of the diagnosis is in the single digits. It's a terrible diagnosis for anyone, let alone someone in that situation.
I don't want to make this story seem like it's about me, because of course it's not; I only want to write how this tragic scenario this family is going through is making me feel. It's a strange zone in which I feel I'm residing. It's two degrees of separation, but barely so - enough that I'm feeling much more sombre and pensive than if it was something I had read or heard about, or seen at work. There's a face to the name, and faces to her family.
As a result, two big thought processes come to mind:
1. Priorities - there are long laundry lists of priorities we compile in our lifetime as we get older, more ingrained in the workforce, have access to more money and more material spoils. It's easy, nay, extremely difficult, nay, impossible to not get caught up with at least some of these aspects occasionally when it's around us all the time. We can lose track of the true value of life, and the fragility of it... and that at any moment, a more defined time limit can be added on to it, or it can be simply taken away all in an instant. When these sobering moments happen, it's incredibly interesting how some priorities drop off and seem distant, while others come rising to the surface, sometimes in a profound or violent manner.
Of course it's impossible to stay in this type of mindset forever. It's exhausting, time-consuming and frankly, depressing. Thinking about life and death all the time would make it difficult to be optimistic to any degree. It's important to keep as a perspective though... like that photo that catches your eye every now and then, and reminds you it's there. It's something that can catch you when you're getting a bit off-track; whether it's going on autopilot for days to weeks, or re-appreciating the things and people you love.
2. Medicine - it's sort of related to thought #1, but it's specific to the reminder of the privilege and the magnitude of the "job". In the grind of residency, the hours, the struggle to keep up with reading and knowledge, and climbing that ladder, the grand scope of what medicine can meet to patients and families can get lost. It makes me feel guilty when thoughts go through my head of wondering how much longer I'll be staying at work in a day, thinking of cutting corners, or when I get annoyed by a patient. No matter what position we eventually attain, our role in patient's lives is a privilege... and it should be treated that way as much as we can.
I think I'm losing steam here, so I'll end the post with things song - "The Wilhelm Scream" by James Blake. It's dark and brooding, but still great to hear. The way he sings "falling..." could be interpreted in a number of ways, but in the process of doing so he sings about how we question what we feel, what we love, and what we dream. Fewer things in life call us to question these emotions than news like this.
James Blake - The Wilhelm Scream
15 August 2012
The maps (continued) and the next vacation...
It took a long time for me to decide what to put up on my bare walls. I figured there would be a number of days when I'd just be staring into space and it should be something I enjoy looking at, but complex enough that I don't get bored seeing it every day, AND something that can get my mind going. You could say... something to promote momentum. Figurative, literal or otherwise. I chose maps.
Exhibit A: Star map
If you know me, you know I love space - its immensity, mystery and the way it will unconditionally humble anyone. It's tangible but is incomprehensible. I think this strange balance (or imbalance?) of the known and the unknown of the cosmos have always intrigued me... hence the reason for this star map.
Exhibit B: "interactive" world map
This one plays a number of roles. It's in my bedroom, and is the first thing I see each time I wake up in the morning. The pins on it indicate places outside of Canada I've visited. I'll probably add the ones in Canada eventually when I get those small pins designed for use on maps, but for now the thumb tacks will do. I also intend to add photos of my friends in different places of Canada, and eventually the world. It'd be interesting to track changes to it over the next few months and years and see how it evolves. I hope to get it a lot more busy, and be forced to buy many more pins...
... which leads me to my next point, the next vacation has been decided. Plane ticket purchased via the recent seat sale on Porter. There's a bit of adventure, food, city and outdoors all mixed together -- New England. Hopefully I'm there just before the mad rush for the autumn but in time still to see some evidence of the season change. Should be awesome. I'm pumped.
Exhibit A: Star map
If you know me, you know I love space - its immensity, mystery and the way it will unconditionally humble anyone. It's tangible but is incomprehensible. I think this strange balance (or imbalance?) of the known and the unknown of the cosmos have always intrigued me... hence the reason for this star map.
Exhibit B: "interactive" world map
... which leads me to my next point, the next vacation has been decided. Plane ticket purchased via the recent seat sale on Porter. There's a bit of adventure, food, city and outdoors all mixed together -- New England. Hopefully I'm there just before the mad rush for the autumn but in time still to see some evidence of the season change. Should be awesome. I'm pumped.
12 August 2012
Salmon
I was wandering around the market today and noticed an apparently good deal on salmon at one of the fish stores. It was for "wild chum salmon". I asked the seafood man behind the counter what the difference was between this and other species, he just mumbled something about it "just being another species". Thinking it was no big deal, I shrugged and bought a sizeable amount and feeling smug about scoring what I thought was a bargain.
Not familiar with the "chum" salmon, I google image searched it on my way home and discovered that...
I had just bought the salmon clan's ugly cousin! Who could love such a creature! My further research found that it has a milder flavour, is more lean and is often used in drying. Fair enough, but seriously how hideous are these guys?
I felt so duped.
Not familiar with the "chum" salmon, I google image searched it on my way home and discovered that...
I felt so duped.
Nils Frahm - Morceau pour neuf doigts
Listening to this song (via blogotheque) as I eat a hearty breakfast at my own pace. The nearby church bells are ringing. There's overcast, a cool breeze and it's just the right humidity. It's quite nice.
10 August 2012
Down the Road (Cherokee remix) by C2C
Just came across a rather funky song posted by EMPT. Gotta give credit where it's due, I like this song a lot. And the folks at EMPT describe it just right:
"... I’ve decided is my favorite track of the summer. Why? Because it does a few things. One, it brings the funk. How can anyone say no to funk? Second, it’s all about slapping the bass. Well, maybe not all about it, but there’s a consistent amount of slapping said bass.... It’s a strolling song. Actually, I’ve tested and proved that claim. As I was walking through Brooklyn today, I noticed that my pace matched the song perfectly. And that pace, was in fact a stroll."Enjoy it here!
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