Last night

Resent.

It was not the busiest call shifts I've had, although I was running around for most of the day, well into the evening. I also got a "decent" 4 hours of sleep which isn't bad by call standards.

For some reason though, it was probably the most miserable I've been on call. It was the first time I despised my pager and wanted to hurl against a cement wall... but also had moments of brief panic if I thought I misplaced it because I couldn't afford to miss a page. I resented each page. I resented the ward calls from the nurses even though they just wanted to improve patient care. I resented each page from other hospital services. Some were appropriate, some were not -- but they were all because they wanted our help. I resented each consult from Emergency, cursing them for being soft consults even though I admitted most of them. I resented myself for forgetting a couple tasks along the way.

It was an unhealthy and unhappy 24 hours. On the bright side, it was only 24 hours and could have been longer on other services, and I don't feel this much like a storm cloud very often.

It's something for me to monitor.